WOW!!! A FLOOD of EMOTIONS!!

I knew that I was an emotional wreck the (almost) two weeks that Aiden was in the NICU... but I never knew how the emotions would come FLOODING back until a friends little boy was in the same place. 

Today, on the way home from work I found myself saying a prayer for baby C and bawling crying at the same time.  As I am asking that this sweet baby boy find strength and nourishment, I am looking through a flood of tears as I remember Jim & myself in the same spot only four months ago...

When your child is in the NICU you find yourself feeling helpless.  Never before in your life have you felt like there is absolutely nothing you can do...You have to rely on the smallest little guy you've ever seen to find strength to get himself well enough to come home with you. 

The NICU allows parents to come and go as they please, except during shift change hours.  Jim and I chose (as do most parents) to go at the time he ate so that we could feed him and change his diaper, etc.  It was the only sense of parenting we could get at the time.  We wanted to stay all day, but we knew he needed rest to get well enough to come home with us... so we would force ourselves to leave (me crying), only to come back four hours later and do it over again.  Those were THE HARDEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE!!!! 

Everytime, leaving your baby with people you don't know and can only hope you trust.  Don't get me wrong, we had a great experience with most of the staff at the hospital and he did finally get to come home with us, but at the time all you can think is... IF something goes wrong, are they going to call me immediately?

Last Saturday I found myself back at the NICU to visit with our good friends and baby C and everything came back... The feeling was as if we never left.  It felt so natural being there - and it should NEVER feel natural scrubbing a layer of skin off at the sink to go vist the most precious thing in the world!!

I guess I can just put myself in their shoes and can only wish that they NEVER had to be there in first place, only because I was there once and know all too well what they are feeling right now. 

Whether you know who I am talking about or not... your prayers are deeply appreciated at this time, as we all pray that baby C does all he can to go home with mom and dad.